A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PSYCHOLOGIST

ALTERNATIVES TO VIOLENCE SHELTER

Laid at the foothills of the mountain in the outskirts of Denver, a Victorian looking house serves as the main building for Alternatives to Violence. The office of the psychologist was no bigger than a room in a standard three-bedroom apartment. Her shiny dark brown desk, which looked almost flawless, was decorated with flower pots on each side of the corner of the table.The light blue colored paint of the room gave it its glow accentuating the smile on the face of the first client that entered that morning. The rear of the room is almost entirely a window overlooking the green grass outside.

“I am emotionally spent” Miss Jacobs, the ten year experienced psychologist at this shelter confides inme. The stories and images she encounters has emotionally drained her and taking much more effort to keep an eight hour shift than she had initially imagined. The pay was not a problem as it turned out more financially rewarding but she had decided it was time to get into another area of psychology, for this shelter reminded her of her own abusive relationship.It was getting more and more difficult to separate herself from her job.

Like every morning assigned victims of violence in this shelter will come in and go over the assignedchores for the day and the progress of their treatment. Alternatives to Violence have been in operation for over five years. In its span of operation many women have gone through here and received treatment for all kinds of problems from drug abuse and addiction through violence against them.Violence usually from their partners such as husbands,boyfriends and to my surprise lesbian partners in somecases of homosexual women.

Tameka in her mid twenties who entered the room this morning is a victim of violence who had been impregnated by her own stepfather. The baby had been taken away from her after testing positive to cocainedue to drug addiction. For such a person the healing process is going to take a little longer that thenormal forty-five day period for an average program.The office is not the only venue where treatment takes place.

On a typical fine morning like this one, when the weather permitted, the bench outside the window that sat under the tree in the middle of the perfectly mowed lawn provided an attractive canopy for a session. The shade under the tree provided a perfect temperature unusual of wintertime in the mid-morning sun for what promised to be a depressing conversation between a psychologist and her client.

At the age of twenty-five she was at the prime of herlife but years of violence from her ex-husband chippedaway all the cheer off her immaturely wrinkling face. Marks of tears from years of crying seemed part of her facial lines. A smile cracked through the sad looking face of Tameka as she gracefully walked to the bench in the middle of the carefully cutgrass. I could tell she had more weight on her mind than she could bear. Her two children had been taken away by the social services department and she was in and out of courtfor the last one who seemed more likely to be taken away if her parenting classes do not go well.

Deep in her hazel brown eyes hope did not seem too far away. As she sat down on the bench her eyes is fixated on amoving and restless black ant in the grass. The conversation, which was about to begin, did not sound like her favorite subject as her eyes were becoming misty with tears at the first word that came out of her mouth.

Like many of the women at this shelter Tameka grew as an inner city child in a working class home. As achild she had aspirations of being a nurse. Dream notrealized but the Alternatives to Violence shelter,which now housed many women of her caliber,represented the hope of healing. This is the story of many of the women here. The chronicle she relates in her beginnings in life to the shelter is heartwrenching. The man who married her mother when she was ten had sexually violated her for years while threatening to kill her if she said anything to her mother.Like many victims of such circumstances Tameka blamed herself for her situation.

Her mother ignored her complaints for years and she found solace on the streets, which landed her in bad company andconsequently drug abuse. The man who fathered her first two children has himself been abusive. She had put herself in harm’s way many times than she can count for him during days they sold drugs together. He finally ended up the penitentiary inCanyon City leaving her helpless to cater for two children.

“I did everything I could but had no choice but to return to that house” referring to the place her mother and her stepfather shared. “He came down there anytime he felt comfortable as ifI was his second wife,” she stated with a straightface forcing a well of tears back. Tameka occupied the basement with her two children in the house. When hermother left for work or anywhere, her stepfather came downstairs and exploited her. He took her childhood away from her and continued to exploit her at the most vulnerable time of her life. Her credibility with her mother had been deeply smeared with constant trouble with the law and drugproblems.

Her mother was in no position to trust Tameka’s word over that of her husband of fifteenyears. The pregnancy was the final straw that brokethe camel’s neck. The child is his, she made sure she told him but the mother does not know because she would not believe her even if she told her.

Many times she had contemplated suicide and when she was living in the basement, maiming this man for lifeor even taking his life has crossed her mind manytimes. The look in the innocent faces of her kids has pushed her thoughts away from such choices.Her self-esteem was at its lowest ebb and trust for men had vanished with thin air along with hope.

The psychologist listened with rapt attention even though she was already accustomed to this story as Tameka pours her heart out during every session.When Tameka finished talking Miss Jacobs the psychologist told Tameka that,“ we are almost at light at the end of the tunnel” making the problem a shared one and not of the client alone.

Miss Jacobs ended the session by scheduling for another meeting with this client in two days in her office. This session was over and the next person was Joyce Edwards. The pressures on the amenities and opportunities came into sharp focus when she remembered that there was a fund raising event late that afternoon for the shelter.

Community organizations such as churches, business and individuals were coming to help raise the much needed funding for the Alternative to Violence Shelter. It was going to be a break for her after she takes care of the last session with Joyce. This was Joyce's last section with Miss Jacobs before her next stage of the healing process.

In such places as this shelter lay the much needed ray of hope for all people who are in situations like Tameka.